Dan and Teri from Oregon and Shari are our friends that were with us the entire trip, picking up our kids in Gansu together. We hope to keep in close contact with them, as we had an amazing trip and lots of adventures together. We could not have been matched with better travel companions, we have so much in common. Another way we know that God orchestrated this entire journey for His Glory!
Along the way we met so many families and so many children! Some were healthy children that the families had waited over 6 years for. Some were listed as "healthy children" and then ended up having some pretty significant concerns. There were lots of cleft lip and palate kiddos, which at this point we don't see as a significant need, though I am sure we will over the course of Adalynn's surgeries. However, it is very doable for us. There were kids with limb difference, missing fingers, repaired heart issues. There were also some "special needs" kids with really, really minor or completely repaired needs. There were babies, older kids and everything in between.
I mention this as a little "plug" for China adoption. While China is a developing country the need is still great. The one child policy still exists in much of China. Forced abortion still happens. If parents can only have one child they want that child to be healthy. We made it a point in China to ask Chinese people about their children. One lady admiring our Adalynn, said that she had only one child, because that is all she is as allowed,she wanted a girl but,she NEEDED a boy. That pretty much sums it up. In addition to the superstition that comes with certain birth defects like cleft lip and palate, many believe that by keeping a child with this issue it will bring bad luck to the family.
Many people in China would point to our kids and make reference to their lips. At the airport in Gansu, a lady saw Samuel's lip and literally jumped back, shocked at the sight, and his lip is even repaired, but, a bit more noticeable than Adalynn's. Just another confirmation that they would not be accepted in the place of their birth.
I hear it all of the time. "We have always thought about adopting." but,,but..but.. "it's too hard, it's too expensive, the wait is to long, there is too much paperwork, we are not that tough, you never know what you are getting with adoption." Or the "if God wants us to adopt a baby will just show up." God rarely drops babies at doorsteps of adoptive families, he plants the seed that makes a family have the desire, but, it is up to us to do the work.
While we believe that all of the families we met in China, were special. The truth is they were just ordinary people following through on the plans that God had for them. Not everyone was wealthy, some had loans to cover their expenses, many received grants, or had fundraisers to help with expenses. Most of the families will be eligible to receive the tax credit, of over $13,000, (YES, a credit not a deduction!!! )
Granted you don't know exactly what you are getting with adoption. However, the same can be true with pregnancy. Our biological children had significant heath issues, that we never expected to have to deal with.
We were able to research different special needs and only be matched with a child that had medical concerns that we were comfortable with.
We had detailed medical and developmental reports on Adalynn, we had doctors review them, and we made the most informed decision that we felt possible.
It's not too late..we were actually among the youngest families to adopt from China. I would say the average age of adoptive parents would be mid 40's to early 50's. We met a couple that were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary in China while adopting their very 1st child!
Paperwork..now this one does get me! But, if I can do it anyone can. I am totally unorganized, to the point of being irresponsible. I don't keep track of stuff, I loose things all of the time. I am creative and not one bit detail oriented with boring paperwork. However, I take it one thing at a time, and I do it. It feels really good to accomplish something completely "out of my box of talents."
In the China adoption process, we found it to be very predictable, ethical with a well run system. Once we arrived in China everything was taken care of. We had a lot of appointments, but, everything was as we were told, we were never asked for additional money, or anything that we had not prepared for. Ethics in adoption is VERY important to us, and we felt that all of the "T's were crossed and all of the I's were dotted.")
Adoption is not for the faint at heart, and it certainly is not for everyone. However, we believe that God does equip the ones that He calls, and provides grace to cover it all! It is a step of faith. If you have any questions about our process, or are considering adoption we would love to share our story with you, and answer any questions that we can.
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