Look who is 2 and loving the attention! What a blessing it is to celebrate this day with our precious girl. April 24, 2011. The day our baby was born. April 25th, 2011 the day she was left to be found. Oh my heart!
I can't believe that it has been only 5 months that we have had the privilege of parenting this perfect daughter for our family.
I can't help but, wonder if her birth mother thinks of this day. I can't imagine the heart wrenching decision she had to make, one that so many other women in China, have to make. I wonder if she was shocked by her daughter's physical appearance, I wonder if she was scared, and saw it as a curse. I wonder if she wanted to keep her baby, but, could not stand the stigma it would bring. I wonder if she wanted a girl but NEEDED a boy. I wonder if offered only one opportunity to have a child, if she needed that child to be perfect. I wonder if she considered the risk to herself if she was caught leaving her baby. I wonder if under the same circumstances I would have done the same thing, and if I would have had the courage to follow through. Oh how grateful I am to be on this side of the story.
But, most of all I am so grateful, to have THIS daughter as my own. I am so grateful to her birth mother for her brave decision. In China, there are over 13 million abortions every year, and that is only what is recorded. Cleft lip and Palate can be identified on an ultrasound, so how grateful I am that Adalynn's birthmom either did not have an ultrasound, or CHOSE to give life to her baby despite her birth defect. Praise God, who loves Adalynn and her birth mom, who offers a hope and a future for all, even in China.
She must have known she could not have much time with her baby, as a cleft baby cannot nurse. She had to be quick, she needed a plan. I wonder what she thought as she wrapped her baby, my sweet daughter, in a red floral blanket. I have to think the gesture was out of love, as the red cloth in Buddhist tradition means, "go well and good luck." She took great risk to leave her baby in a very public place right outside of a hospital on the side walk. I wonder if she came in the night. I wonder how long my sweet girl was alone. I wonder if her birth mom waited to see someone find her. I wonder if she counted the seconds, the minutes. After a child is abandoned, China issues an add in the paper looking for someone to claim the child before they can place the child for adoption. I wonder if her birth mom, waited and saw the announcement in the paper, I wonder if, as I have a copy of that announcement, she has a copy too.
I look back at what we were doing on April 24 2011. That day I emailed Matt, telling him that I thought we should transfer out of the very unstable Ethiopia adoption program and go China special needs. His exact words, were "No, I want to go back to Ethiopia, NOT China, and whatever we do I don't want a baby!" Oh the irony of it all. Especially, that he absolutely adores her, as we all do. We also absolutely love having a "baby" in the house! I find myself really sad that she is turning 2. I want to push pause, she is growing up too fast. I feel like I have missed so much of her little life, oh how I long to have had held and loved my "baby" when she was indeed a "baby."
One thing is for sure, even with her strange favoritism for daddy, I love this little girl. The same that I would have loved her if I carried her for 9 months and gave birth to her. She is my daughter. Adoption is not always "love at first sight" often love comes much later. But, I loved this girl from the time I saw her across the room as we entered, I loved her in the whirlwind "gotcha day" of rejection, followed by much, much more rejection.
Last year on her 1st birthday she was in the hospital having her cleft lip repaired in China. We are grateful that she we got to celebrate her 2 birthday this week! Next Thursday May, 2nd she has surgery at Riley Hospital to repair her palate. She will need more surgeries, but, this should be the last for a while! We are anxious to have her palate repaired but, are not looking forward to this surgery at all.
